A Toxic Relationship is defined as poor behavior displayed by the toxic partner that is emotionally or physically harmful. The feeling of pain, misunderstanding and betrayal consumes the human spirit. Communication, trust, respect, support are among the few things that will guide and nourish a relationship. Inadvertently, you may feel neglected or even disrespected. In a healthy relationship a couple should feel safe or complete. Do you know if you are in a toxic relationship?
Toxic relationships are not solely for lovers. Friends, family, and even co-workers can have toxic relationships with each other. Here are some signs that will help you to identify a relationship that is toxic to you:
Communication – In this is the type of relationship a person does not want to talk to you except when it pertains to themselves. They have little or no emotions regarding your feelings. On those few occasions when the conversation is about you, you find yourself being put down or demeaned. Communication should be a positive, enlightening, motivational experience on various subjects that add to the health of the relationship.
Attention– In the beginning most people will be very attentive. When you’re interested in someone its exciting and interesting. You want to shower them with attention. However, if your heart truly is not in it your true feeling arise. If you have a special day, and your mate does not acknowledge it, or even remembers it, then this could be a sign of a toxic relationship. The importance you place on a person is truly demonstrated by how much time and effort you put into remembering the little things you learned in the beginning.
Abuse in the Relationship – Abuse can be verbal or physical. Being verbally disrespected, hitting and/or controlling are all very clear signs that your relationship is toxic. Abuse should never take place in a loving relationship. If you are experiencing abuse in the relationship, please try your best to create an exit plan, and get out of this situation. If you have questions, contact the National Domestic Abuse Hotline at 1 800 799-7233.
Not Wanting to Grow Together – If your mate does not respect your ideas or accomplishments but always expects you to accept their ideas, then that is a sign that your relationship is not on the right path. Couples should grow together, helping each other to excel in their dreams. It is important for the team to work together to succeed in life.
Bad Intention – People get into relationships for their own personal reasons. If you are asking yourself, “Is this person in the relationship for me or for another reason”, then this may be a problem. A person should feel comfortable with their mate without any questions. For example, if someone is always seeking help from you, but is never willing to help you when you need them, the relationship is toxic.
Aggressive Behavior– You should never feel like you are walking on pins and needles around your mate. If you cannot ask a question for fear of retaliation or defensive behavior, then you are most likely in a toxic relationship.
False Accusations – Constantly having someone accuse you of something, especially something you did not do can be very stressful. If you find yourself asking questions about the actions of your mate, then there is a problem.
Never Happy For You- This one goes hand-in-hand with “Bad Intentions”. If you achieve goals in your life and your partner is never happy for your success then there is a problem. If you find your partner has detached him or herself from you when things are going well for you then your relationship is headed for problems. A couple in a happy healthy relationship would be happy whenever either party achieves a goal.
You Come Last – The Bible says in Ephesians 5:31, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This means you should not be last. You should be first in your mate’s life. If you’re not, then this is not a healthy relationship.
Little or No Trust- This one is hand-in-hand with “False Accusations”. If your mate does not believe anything you say or will accuse you of things for no apparent reason then your relationship is toxic. There must be trust in a relationship. In fact, trust is one of the cornerstones to a successful relationship. If there is no trust problems will always arise.
What to do if you’re in a Toxic Relationship
Are you treated poorly in your relationship? Getting out of a toxic relationship can be hard and increasing your belief in yourself will greatly add to your ability to succeed in removing yourself from the relationship.
Self-worth is vital to having the courage to leave a toxic relationship. I cannot stress enough about believing in yourself. Do not allow someone to treat you badly simply because you believe you need them in your life. Make plans to get out of the situation as quickly as you can. Here are some tips to remember:
Get help from family and friends.
When you leave cut off all contact. Yes, you will miss your mate, but think about how you were treated in the relationship and move forward.
If you have children make sure you get all of their important documents together.
Secure your finances so that you can pay for expenses, if necessary.
Think safety first and foremost.
Toxic relationships happen to even the strongest people, male or female, so do not be discouraged and think this is your life forever. Believe in yourself, take that first step and change your life. God never orchestrated our lives for failure. Pain is temporary and can be overcome. Trust in Him and take that step!