Every now and then, life throws you a curve that you hope no one notices. It could be something as small as someone bullying you about the way you look or the way you dress. In From Secrets with Men to Romance with Him, Victor Bell takes us down a steep hill with crooks and turns that will have you on the edge of your seat trying to hold onto what your thoughts and beliefs about life are. As you begin to accelerate faster down the hill, turning each page, Bell veers off the road to a different path that is somewhat unfamiliar. Bell leads us down a path of redemption and forgiveness which also addresses his demons, self-esteem, and the issues he encountered as a child. This is no ordinary story. This is his story.
After indulging in immoral behavior, the voices in Victor’s head began to speak to him and tell him who he was and who he wasn’t. He was being bullied by his own mind. His mind was in constant anguish. The voices told him he was ugly, he was worthless, useless. “You just came from a party and did what you did. Man, you are gay. You know you are gay!” As Victor tried to wrap his head around what just happened, tears began to fall like rain. He couldn’t believe it. Although he was embarrassed, it felt good.
The story unfolds as the author takes us back to when he was five years old. He remembers this vividly because this is when things started to change for him. In the moment of watching a soap opera with his babysitter, something began to stir inside of him. He wanted to engage in the same thing that he saw on the television. The curveball was put into motion.
A Glimpse of His World
From Secrets with Men to Romance with Him, Bell sits down and lays it all out: the good, the bad, and the ugly. He gives the reader a glimpse of his world… the secret world of men. All of his life, he had been trying to fit in, to fill an empty void in his life. The lifestyle he was living in was not enough. It was a temporary fix to a larger problem. He wanted to be accepted and he wanted to be loved. His secret encounters with men helped the situation but did not come close to making him feel loved or even good enough.
However, there was one man who had a plan. He loved us so much that he sent his only son to die on the cross for our sins. At that point in time, everything was erased. They hung him high and stretched him wide. That still did not make him want to come down from the cross. You see the man-with-a-plan was God. He sent his son just for you and just for me. No matter what we encounter in life, he will never leave us nor forsake us. There are things we go through in life that will help us give our testimony to others to let them know how awesome God is, how he brought us through all of our mess, despite ourselves. He’s the one who will be there through everything, even when you think you cannot sink any lower. He is there to pull you up. When you think you cannot turn your life around, he’s there telling you that, yes, you can.
Bell struggled with all of his insecurities until he decided to surrender all to God. When he surrendered, things began to change. Old things were washed away and he became a new creature in Christ.
There are some of you wondering how this happened or thinking that it couldn’t possibly happen. I say this, try him. Give it all to God. Your worries, your illnesses, your addiction, your children, or whatever else you are going through and God will fix it. If God did it for Victor, certainly he can do it for you!