I woke up early one Sunday morning feeling depressed again. Part of me believed this was going to be my permanent state of mind. I was so tired of her, tired of these kids yelling and screaming, tired of this mundane existence and just tired of life itself.
Fifteen years ago I married my wife and now, things are just horrible to me. She seemed to enjoy her life. She woke up every morning chipper, happy and full of life. I couldn’t understand why because I was miserable. I decided the best thing to do was to take my problems to God. After all, people said He would listen and help us. Now was the time to see if that was true. If He could get me out of this marriage, I would be so happy.
“God,” I started, “I am so miserable in my marriage and my life. I want a do over. Can I rewind my life back to the day I met my wife and do it over?” There wasn’t a reply. All I wanted was freedom from my ball and chain and my three rug rats…is that asking too much?
Then there was a voice that sounded like rushing water slamming against my ears, “Why would you want to change your life? I have given you everything and saved you from hurt and pain.”
I answered, “These kids drive me crazy? I have no time for myself and I can’t hang out with my friends and I’m always broke. Don’t let me get started on my wife…she looks nothing like she did when I met her! Lord, just let me go back and change my life. Let me go back and walk pass her like she isn’t even there.” The Lord sighed and granted my desire.
In a blink of an eye I was back in time, on Blake Avenue. As usual, I was walking to work. I remember this day so clearly. It was the day my life went downhill. It went downhill all because I met this woman who would later become my wife. Now I can change it. I can rewrite history.
There she was coming my way just as she did 18 years ago. This time I won’t stop and chat with her. This time I won’t get her phone number; I’ll just walk on by and continue my life without her and those dang kids.
She got closer and closer. I could see why I fell for her. She was smoking hot back then. Her skin was dark and the dress she wore displayed every curve of her body. She had a style and grace unmatched by anyone, but I just walked right by and didn’t stop.
That body was so beautiful I couldn’t help but watch her move seductively once again. I had forgotten how fine she really was. I watched so hard that I never heard the screeching of tires from the bus that hit me. As I lay on the ground feeling the life leaving me, I asked God, “Why did you let this happen to me?”
A raindrop struck me in the face as God answered, “My child, I protected you the first time. I sent the woman of your dreams at the right time to delay you from being hit by that bus. I gave her a spirit that in your eyes would be unmatched by no other. Instead, you lust for her body when it was her mind that you truly loved. I gave you three beautiful angels to call your children. You forgot the smile that was present on their faces when you came home and the love that filled your heart when each of them was born. You didn’t appreciate all the love in your home. Most of all, you forgot the love I have for you. The day you stopped loving your family was the day you turned away from Me.”
I knew the raindrops were from Heaven. God was crying.