Most people say they fell in love. I prefer to say I rose in love. I knew there was something different about my husband when we first started dating. He made me want to give—to be selfless. I believe love is all about being selfless. If you’re looking for ways to be more giving in your relationship, here are my top 10 ways to love your mate unconditionally
1. Forgive constantly
Forgive constantly and quickly. If you are struggling with an issue, be sure to communicate with your mate, so you don’t hold resentment. Now, a forgiving heart does not come overnight. It is something most of us must strive for. As long as we keep at it, swift forgiveness will begin to come naturally.
2. Be patient and supportive
Be patient in all things with your spouse, especially if he or she has big dreams. Life has taught me things that come fast are lost fast. The things worth having take time to build. One of the best things you can do while you wait is support and assure your spouse that you trust in him or her.
3. Be slow to anger
It’s so cliché, but it couldn’t be truer—don’t go to bed angry with one another. Communicate your frustrations thoroughly and calmly, so you can both reach a resolution. Feel free to walk off and take a few moments to gather your thoughts. Remember, the tongue is a sword. You don’t want to say anything you’ll regret later.
4. Spend time doing something they love
Again, love is all about being selfless. You may not like going bowling or (gasp!) shopping, but going anyway will show your mate that you care about the things he or she enjoys.
5. Pray for and with your mate
Always pray for your mate’s well being. It’s even more powerful to pray with your mate. It may seem awkward at first, especially if you’re not used to praying out loud for anyone. You’ll get comfortable with it over time, and your spouse will appreciate it.
6. Listen to understand
This is perhaps one of life’s hardest lessons. Most people only listen to respond, which leads to a bunch of assumptions. If your mate says something that negatively triggers you, ask questions first to understand the intent behind it. It could be harmless and come from a good place. Communication is another skill that takes time to strengthen, but asking questions will show yo
ur spouse that you care about and respect him or her enough to not judge first.
7. Learn their love language
This will make your life together so much easier. There are five love languages, according to Dr. Gary Chapman. They are physical touch, words of affirmation, receiving gifts, acts of service and quality time. I highly suggest learning yours and your spouse’s, so you both feel understood and loved.
There will be times when you have to put your wants aside for your mate’s needs. Your love may be tested in these situations, but stay strong. Life always comes full circle. In my experience, the peace on my husband’s face always makes the sacrifice worth it.
9. Praise them
Always be your spouse’s biggest cheerleader. When it feels like the world is against him or her, you should always be the one your mate can turn to for encouragement.
10. Do one of their chores
This may seem simple, but depending on your mate’s love language, it can be a huge gesture to show your love.
Though there can never be a definitive handbook on love because every love is different, these ten tips hopefully make a great starting point. I believe the Bible gives us the best advice, though.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8