My Mother had been sick for about a month; in and out of the hospital struggling to breathe. Barring the miracle I had been praying for, I knew our time together was coming to an end. Knowing it certainly didn’t make it easier to accept when it happened. Nor did it ease the overwhelming grief I felt when it happened.
I never knew my heart could hurt like it did when I lost my Mom. Not figuratively speaking, but literally. It was a pain I was unfamiliar with. I’ve lost family members and friends before losing my Mom, yet I never felt THAT kind of pain!
There are different ways we feel the sting of losing a loved one and there are just as many different ways of going through the grief process. We are unique beings by God’s great design so it would make sense that we process the emotions of life and death in various ways. For example, it is more common for women than men to show their emotions. However, that surely does not mean men are unaffected.
Since her passing, the hardest thing for me has been finding my new normal. Not talking to her every day during lunch or on my drive home still feels strange. Frankly, there are times I still reach for the phone with the intent to call her only to realize I cannot.
So when tomorrow comes and they are no longer here, what do we do? How do we handle the grief of the loss? How do we find the new normal without them in our life?
Here are five suggestions based on my personal experience:
If you are part of a support network for someone grieving a loss, here are a few things you can do to help them:
Whether you are grieving or supporting someone through a loss, patience is paramount. Be patient with yourself. Losing someone we love is traumatic and our bodies feel every ounce of the trauma (physically, emotionally, and psychologically). It takes time to heal. Love yourself enough to take the time you need!
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