STOP Settling!

by Terry D.

If you want marriage, stop settling for just enough to keep you on a limb…You can tell someone how you feel about marriage, or even your wish to be in a committed relationship.  You can shout it to the rooftop, but if your actions say different, your words mean absolutely nothing! If you’re not taking time to get to know them, and the panties are on the floor on the 2nd date, okay, maybe even the first, and that’s your choice, but don’t continue to exhibit all the characteristics that don’t say, “I want to be someone’s wife,” and then get mad because he won’t marry you.  You really can’t and don’t have to rush the love that was predestined for you, but you can throw a monkey wrench in it, by trying to fit a square in a circle…

Ask Those Tough Questions!

What do you want in a relationship? Are you God-fearing? There is a difference in attending church, and fearing God! How do you feel about marriage?  Do you have/want children?  How do you feel about sex before marriage?  Do you believe in monogamy?  You can tap dance around seeking the truth, but it will come out.  When you are asking these questions, PAY ATTENTION! “Ask for what you want, and be prepared to get it.” Maya Angelou Don’t half listen, and jump in heart first!  We love to say that God doesn’t answer our prayers, but the truth is, He always answers, you just ignore it, because it’s not the answer you were hoping for.

Stop Jumping In Bed So Soon!

Sex will not land you a husband, but it will get you a few good orgasms, if that’s all you want!  Before you even consider being physical with someone, make sure you know what you’re getting yourself into. Remember, if the goal is only to sleep with you, the chase becomes more important.  The soul ties and emotional scars can’t just be erased.  Matthew 7:6 Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.

Spend Time Around Family & Friends!

You may very well get the representative, but people often let their guards down around people they’re more familiar with.  You will see if they’re comfortable with showing affection, how they interact, and their level of respect.  What are friends and family saying?  Things like: How’d you finally get this one to settle down?  You better watch your back.  You know he’s not going to marry you right?  Trust me, the hints and signs are always there.

Accept Your Findings…

Don’t try to change that person.  You obviously were initially physically attracted to them, but later grew to like them, for who they were, not who you want them to be.  Even if you try to change them, it won’t last or work.  You can’t rationalize, change or alter the truth. “The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.” Maya Angelou.  When we’ve been out of the loop of dating for a while, we end up allowing our minds to play tricks on us.  We begin to ask ourselves questions like:

• If I Give Into Sex, It Will Change The Game
• I Don’t Have A Lot Of Choices
• Did I Offer A Fair Chance
• Maybe I Need to Rethink My Standards

One thing I’ve found is that we can’t change what is not meant to be. We may go ahead and enter into a relationship that is not for us, because we feel it’s our only choice, and it’ll all work itself out.

Terry D.

Relationship Coach |Blogger|Author|Speaker

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