Secret Love (Loving Someone from Afar)

By Gerald C. Anderson, Sr. and Beryl Anthony Brackett

Contributed to by Renata M. Smith

Love is a tricky emotion because it takes two hearts to strike a chord simultaneously to make love come to fruition. When this fails to happen, a person may be left behind and fall into a tangled web of secretly loving from afar. The situation can be excruciatingly painful for any person.

For this article secret love means loving someone you cannot be with. It’s either unrequited love or love where one person hasn’t told the other person their true feelings.

Reasons for Loving Someone from Afar

• Sometimes you meet someone you feel is perfect for you, but they don’t feel the same toward you. In this situation, you could find yourself loving them from afar. Sometimes you remain friends with the person, hoping that someday they will change their mind and see the potential relationship as you do. However, most of the time, the love never flourishes, and you find yourself sad, depressed or hurt.
• Another reason people love from a distance is that they cannot be with the person they want. The person you love may have a significant other, they may be married, or they may not want to be in a relationship now.

Choosing to love someone from afar is not a suggested tactic to do. If you choose to take this road, you should back off to avoid getting hurt. It’s always good to protect your heart. However, if you choose to do so, here is some ways you can accomplish this.

How to Love Someone from Afar While Protecting Your Heart

• Allow Your Head to Take Charge. Sometimes your heart will want to lead the way. Therefore, you should figure out your true feelings towards this person and determine any potential red flags. The difficulty here is we tend to imagine the person in the best of situations and overlook the bright red flags. Then, if you can be in a relationship with them, it is often nothing like you imagined.
• Don’t Do Things in a Rush. While you may be tempted to share your feelings with the person, it’s not always a good thing to do, and sometimes it may not work. One way to protect your heart is to avoid rushing things; as you may regret it later.
• Stay Away. If you choose to love someone from afar, don’t see them too much because you will only get hurt. The person may break your heart without trying to do so. Remember, in their mind you are friends, but in yours you want more. Keeping your distance from them will help protect you from hurt.

When you choose to love someone from afar, remember this is not a technique for winning someone over or persuading them to love you back. In fact, loving them from afar often distorts reality. In your mind, you have created the person you want them to be instead of how they actually are.

Read Reverends Gordon and Marilyn Oliver journey of love and faith in Christ!