Fathers, your presence in your child’s life matters. Not sure who lied to you and told you it doesn’t.
You don’t have to be Father of the Year. You just need to be there and have their best interest at the forefront of your mind. You don’t have to be perfect, especially since there is no way you can be. There is only one perfect Father so take the pressure off yourselves! So what if you can’t afford name brand clothes and trips to Disney like some other fathers. Your children simply need time with you. Gifts with well-known labels don’t provide their moral compass. Your example in their lives does!
If you think your presence does not matter because you know the mother and her family will ‘hold it down’, you are sadly mistaken. It’s hard for your sons to grow into men without having an example of one during their formidable years. As for your daughters, they need the unconditional love of their fathers so they won’t search for it in all the wrong places and ways.
If you think your presence doesn’t matter, please tell me why I sat across the table from a successful 40-year old woman and watched tears fill her eyes as she talked about her father’s voluntary absence from her life? It broke my heart! In my developmental years, my father was far from perfect but he was present and I knew he loved me. Through the years I learned from what he did right and wrong. You owe your children that opportunity.
Coming on the scene later in life is fine as long as you know you missed out and you short-changed your child(ren) in the process. Your absence creates a void which can’t be filled years after the fact. That void can be healed but never filled. You are robbing them of their basic entitlement; to know the people they come from.
I’ve witnessed men deny children who are their mirror image. What do you think that does to the child when they are constantly told, “You look just like your father”, yet they don’t know him?
On this Father’s Day, I applaud all of the imperfect men who have accepted and embraced their role by being present, active fathers to their children. There are many and I pray their families are going out of their way today to acknowledge and celebrate them!