One day, I came home and the note she left for me said, “I admire you”. Holy cow!!! That was a mother’s dream come true…seriously. There is not one of us that doesn’t hope our child sees us this way. For this little girl to admire me means she had been watching me. I dare say that she probably learned more about who I am as a person from watching me than from listening to me; although, I was never at a loss for words of wisdom to share with her.
No matter how glad my heart was to receive her note, I think, at least for a little while, I internalized it as pressure to perform. I may have even felt a little intimidated. I was a single mom, working an erratic work schedule, often times feeling as though I wasn’t spending enough time with her. While I’m feeling guilty, she’s telling me she admires me! After receiving her sweet note, I sometimes thought to myself ‘Oh my goodness; she admires me. Did I say all of the right things today? Did I do all of the right things today?’ I couldn’t help but ask myself those questions. I can guarantee you that, before I received the note, while she was in the process of admiring me even before telling me, I didn’t always say the right thing. I am 100% positive I didn’t always do the right thing, either; yet she still admired me. I am equally certain that in the days, weeks, months, and years that followed, I have not always done and/or said the right thing.
When our children watch us, it’s so critical to their development that we don’t portray ourselves as perfect. We certainly are not. Imagine the
They admire us for trying. They admire us for our honesty. They admire us for our presence. They don’t require much; just effort, truth, and involvement. Our children are aware of our shortcomings, yet they love us purely, anyhow!
For years now, that drawing has been on the wall in my closet. I see it every day. It no longer intimidates me. Instead, it is a sweet reminder that I tried my best, and she knows it.
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